Y’know, ordinarily, I’d say somethin’ like a dragon or like, laser-eyed frog or, well, somethin’ cool like that! But believe it or not, I’ve actually been thinkin’ about this recently. It’s a really serious question! And I’ve come to, like, a real solid decision, dude.
I’d be a butternut squash with human face n’ emotions.
Now, I know what you’re gonna say. “But Soos!”—That’s, uh, that’s you talkin’, by the way—“I know you’ll be like, incredibly delicious ‘n stuff, dude, but a butternut squash? Why’d you choose that over a laser-lightning robot dragon or somethin’?”
But remember, this is a butternut squash with human face and emotions.
Dragons are real awesome, bro, but like, what good is it t’be one if you don’t have emotions? I mean, I guess you’d just be hungry all th’ time, but I dunno if that’s really an emotion…and besides, man, I’m hungry all th’ time anyway!
But dude, emotions’re totally worth it!
It’s really sad, though, cause I’ve actually met a few people who wish they didn’t have emotions, and whenever they feel some bad ones, they use really harmful ways to try an’ deal with ‘em. I wish they could see that emotions’re natural things, an’ it’s okay to feel sad n’ scared. ‘Cause believe it or not, there’s a lot’f good things that come out of havin’ emotions.
Bein’ sad’s no fun, but it teaches us how to help other people when they’re sad.
Bein’ scared can warn you ‘bout dangerous situations and help you get out of them, plus fear can keep you from doin’ something dumb.
And best’f all, bein’ happy reminds you how awesome things can get! Sure, you can’t, like, be happy all the time. But bad stuff always makes good things look better—if you were happy forever, I think it’d be pretty boring, dude.
But bottom line, emotions’re pretty sweet. Whether you’re laughin’ or cryin’, you shouldn’t have to hide it. After all, emotions allow us t’express how we really feel an’ experience things to the fullest, instead of sittin’ there like a lifeless lump!
And if I get to be a delicious butternut squash while havin’ ‘em, dude, that’s a plus!
Heh, well, my old man used to take me out for ice cream after boxin’ matches, if I did good enough that day. Eh, it got to be a tradition after a while, and I’d always order this ol’ getup, er, what was it…oh yeah, apple cobbler crunch.
Lemme tell ya, it really was some fantastic stuff. You got this, I dunno, like, this cinnamon flavored ice cream, with these little pie crust pieces in it and apple chunks—basically it was like eatin’ one big slice of apple pie on a cone, alright?
Yeah, but apple cobbler crunch—man, that stuff was golden.
Maybe that’s why I’m such a big fan of that pie from the shack…Tastes just like it!
…Gosh, that stuff really brings back some memories.
Oh, so guess who they finally let make a post! That’s right, it’s me! I wrote out this speech about twenty times the other day, so, uh, hopefully it turns out great. Okay, so, let’s see how this goes!
Alright. So apparently the shack has been getting a buncha complaints about some people’s questions not being answered! And I mean, that’d upset me too. Wherever I go, I want service! I’m not like, the gullible type or anything, heh, that’s ridiculous. And neither are you!
The thing is though, uh, answering that many questions is hard work! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen some of you guys’ questions and they’re absolutely adorable! But some of them have already been asked, or we just might not be able to answer ‘em at the moment. Some of ‘em are even still in the inbox, ready to be put to good use real soon, hehe!
However, it’s nothin’ personal if we can’t get to your question, promise! Choosing which questions to get to first is like picking between a puma shirt and a panther shirt. Pfft, it’s near impossible!
If your question isn’t answered this time around, heh, well, feel free to send a different one when the askbox opens, if you wanna! Just please don’t send us any more rude anons or something! Truth is, even if we don’t have time to get to every single message, we’re still trying to get every one we can, and we love hearin’ from you! Really!
And if anyone tells you otherwise, well…
Git ‘em, git ‘em!
I’ll give you a hint.
It starts with a “mer”…
AND ENDS WITH ETERNAL LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!!
Okay, seriously, what is that? I mean, I get most acronyms, but like…what? “Don’t get the toast burned”? “Dig graves that tame bears?” I guess I gotta look it up, because I’m totally lost—
NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE, WE’RE DONE HERE, BYE.
Season 2? Do you mean, like, Fall? Or, uh, some people call it Autumn. But that’s like, the season right after Summer, right? So that makes it season 2! Kinda. In my book!!!
And then what’s in store? What store??? Is it like, a sweater store? Like, a Fall sweater store??? OH MY GOSH, FALL SWEATERS ARE THE BEST KIND OF SWEATERS, YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND!!!
I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S IN THE SWEATER STORE FOR SEASON 2, BUT I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOAH! Okay, first of all, be careful with asks like these! I mean, what if Robbie sees them? What if Wendy sees them? Gosh, okay, I gotta find some place to hide this now…
Okay, so, uh, I actually hid myself, in, um, Stan’s supply closet…look, I know it’s cramped and dark and stuff but better safe than sorry, alright? It’s the best I could do!
But yeah…the thing about asking Wendy out is, well…I can’t give you a definite date. ‘Cause like, I’ll admit, I’ve tried tons! Uh, mentally, at least. I’ve, y’know, thought about it a lot, planned it out in my head…I even made a checklist once of how the process would go, but last time I did something like that, it totally backfired…I mean, there were clones and everything. So yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna try that again.
I think the closest I came was the whole “mind control” thing with Robbie, asking her to go bowling or whatever, but I mean, looking back on it, that really…wasn’t the best move.
The thing about Wendy is that I really do care about her, y’know? And I know that sounds all mushy or whatever, but like…I’d be kinda a jerk to just throw this on her after a breakup like that.
Okay, not kinda a jerk. A big jerk.
So, I, uh, I think I’m gonna wait a while. Y’know, let things settle down, let her get over Robbie and all that other stuff, wait til she’s a bit happier. But I mean, I’m gonna do it. I’ll tell her.